Can we skip to the good part (without communicating)?
Communication, if you happen to think, is a lot like breathing. It has become indispensable for existence (in a society). Even though we breathe every day, every moment, we can not sit and just breathe properly when it comes to sitting with thyself (meditation (max intimate it could get)). Same with communication, even though every second person’s jobs’ underlying skill is being good at communicating we are just going downhill when it comes to doing the same in personal circles. Ugh. Big term. Big implications.
And the way our digital lives are becoming our real lives it has brought a major shift in how we communicate in our personal and social circles. Of course the mediums have increased and the every specific element of a medium is a medium in itself to communicate. For example, WhatsApp is one medium and WhatsApp display picture is another medium. Like I would know which of my college junior is not going through good phase if he/she has removed the display picture. So, even by not communicating and just existing one has communicated a lot.
Now, what is this if not passive communication. In an otherwise tangible world I would say I have noticed only mothers to be passive in the way they communicate. Generalising a bit here but please let me. Not being loud enough when it comes to sharing their certain opinions, always putting others’ preferences before their own, are apologetic and rarely get what they want. Sounds like mothers in general, right?
Now see how this behaviour has branched out digitally and has transformed many of us into passive communicators. Talking through stories (fear of direct communication), checking if a specific person has seen it or not, not addressing your concerns out loud because certain set of followers might feel offended, feeling intimidated by blue ticks, songs for feelings, and pre written quotes as support stick to convey your side of POV/opinion or thought.
Our digital behaviour reflects our indecisivenes and lack of clarity on things we want to communicate, whether to a friend, a family member or someone in our social circle.
It’s time we realise that if communication is the key then passive communication is the new lock. And the thing with passive communication is that it doesn’t understand mediums. Be it in person or happening through digital realms one can feel it and the results of the same are not healthy.
In person you can still shake the other person and put some sense in their head by arguing or by instigating them to communicate or to puke the words out properly. In digital realm how do you shake the other person enough so that one loosens the knot one has tied around the heart to keep it safe\protected.
You never know if this piece is just a thought piece or actually my way of passively communicating a message to someone. Never mind, we are all in this shit show together. Equally doomed, equally miserable. Running on coffee, with anxious hearts and ego inflated chests. Wait, we aren’t really running. Or maybe some of us are.
Originally published at https://shivalisharma.substack.com on December 16, 2021.