Numbers, fears and hope.

When I was in 8th standard I used to write 769 on my palm on certain days of interschool competitions. I used to close my fist at the time of result to wish for my victory.

And even till date when i see these so called angel numbers, I make a wish and I smile.

In my opinion, choosing to wish upon in first place is a sign of being afraid. I believe fearless people don’t need wishes. Asking for a wish is an act of hope. And again fearless people don’t sit and hope.

At this point in time it seems like it is basic human instinct to be driven by fear or hope. And it is okay to be driven by them, given they keep playing in the background and you go about your days, figuring and living. We actually do not need the intervention of these feelings and directed focus on them. Then why did ceratin cult or human kind decide in first place to find meaning among numerical patterns and shove it down our throats? Like imagine the world if each one of us became absolutely fear less. Not fearing the future, not hoping on future. Just existing and taking life face to face one moment at a time. If this would have been an ideal world I and many like me would have been fearless, refuting the patterns.

But it’s not an ideal world, it’s real world. Here we all try to steal moments of comfort to go through our days. And fearing and hoping through numbers are nothing but our little moments of comfort. Here we feel included in the plan, we feel we are seen, we feel we are guarded, we feel safe. And what’s life if not our desperate measures to be secured?

Sometimes, I find this funny how I have these debates in my mind where I am both against and in favour of the case in focus. It’s just funny to me.

I have been unable to fight against my will to not believe in these numbers. And I have let my stupid self win (Actually you never know, maybe it’s my wise intutive self). So, I’ll go back and take more screenshots tomorrow.

Originally published at https://shivalisharma.substack.com on November 2, 2021.