Save as…..?
I lived in Himachal for almost 4–5 months in 2021. 3 months in the plains of Himachal and almost a month facing huge mountains around Chowki, a village in Parvati Valley.
And as you live in Himachal you realize that there are many frames and moments that you want to save. You’ll know in those moments that no device can ever save it as you want it to be saved. You want to feel them so much so that you can absorb the moment in your skin and bones. You want to live it in a way so that when you go back to your consiously chosen miseries you can push some buttons within you and evoke the same feeling again in your flesh.
Living in Chowki, amongst big mountains, I lived many such moments which I wanted to save in HD in my memory. And because there was no device out there which could keep a detailed memory for me. Hence I used my senses to document what I saw and felt in certain magical moments.
Rakshas jaise pahad
In this moment I am in my balcony. It is sometime between the sunset and the dark of the night. The colour of the sky is greyish blue. And I can’t really see the greens of the mountain. But I can see their structure. It’s huge. They seem like monsters. There are three big mountains I can see right now. Them seem like Ravan, Vibhishan and Kumbhkaran standing together in Dushhera. There’s moon too in the sight. Talking to silheoutte of mountains in this moment is a weird feeling. You feel like you’re talking to a gunda who has a soft heart.
Wow! Another balcony moment. In this given moment Anuja, my friend, and I stood together and made some affirmitions. Said it all out loud and I am very happy to mention this that today all of what we asked for has become a tangible reality. It feels safe to speak your heart’s deepest desires in the hollow created by big mountains. It feels divine to be under the light of full moon. I came inside later and stared at moon for long from my window, my partner in being alone. This moment is so precious that if would catch it my fist and open it later any time, my palm will have a bright halo of this moment, always.
Though there are many inexplicably beautiful patches in whole of Parvati Valley but there must be a a reason why different hearts get stuck to diffrent kinds of beauty. And because feeling free is how i feel full this moment stuck with me, I felt most free here, in this patch of road that is surrounded by deaodhars. And not just that, below runs the Parvati river, almost makes you go in awe of existence. Nameless deodhar patch, I keep you. One day Anuja and I were walking uphill to see her property where now her Baari cafe stands. With each step on that road it felt like I am walking among the clouds. I could snap my hand through the white mist in front of me. It was drizzling too. I tried catching it in my fist but even better I caught it in my heart.
The funny part is I literally don’t have any of the picture in the mentioned places or moments. I still managed to save them as what I don’t know. Only thing I know as of now is — sit and drink water folks it will help you navigate through life, one sip at a time.
Cheers,
Shivalii
Originally published at https://shivalisharma.substack.com on June 28, 2022.